How I encouraged my teen
One day, I peeked into the “parent vue” app to see my daughter’s grades for her current classes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Two of her classes were low grade. She had a F in her Math class and a D in her World History class. When she came home after school, I talked to her about her grades. As she looked up at me, she exhaled with a deep breath and said, “I don’t know mom”. Right then I knew I needed to do something. She began to tell me just where she is in math class and what she thinks she needs to do in her History class.
In math labs, she was still in chapter 2 when she should have been in chapter(unit) 5. She mentioned “I have completed chapter(unit) 2 but failed the test”, which meant she needed to redo the entire unit 2 again. My quest, at this point, is if you pass the unit test you can move on to the next unit. My daughter was over whelmed and felt frustrated. She told me she couldn’t understand some of the math problems in unit 2. I tried to help her as much as I could, but some problems were different from what I remember.
I created a strategy for her to go by. I told her stay up to date on current math unit then when she has time go back to unit 2 and work on that. “When you pass unit 2, then move onto unit 3 and keep moving on. All at the same time you are working on unit 5 and moving onto unit 6”. It was like she was working on two different units per week. She made notes for each unit and used them for her test as reference. (which was a great idea).
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Every day, I was on her about her math work and keep coming to her about the other classes as well. As a mom, I felt the need to just sit with her and help her. Sometimes we would figure a problem out together and other times we would figure out a problem to see who would get the answer first. This was quit fun for both of us. I’m telling you, it wasn’t easy for her, but we went step by step doing little by little, every day. I would quote this scripture to her and have her repeat it “I can do all things thru Christ, who strengthens me”. She seems to feel a sense of will power to keep going.
I investigated getting a tutor for her at her school, turned out she was already signed up for Academic Overtime (AO) during part of her lunch hour. Students are automatically signed up for AO when their grades are low, which is done during part of their lunch hour for thirty minutes. I thought, this is cool.
As a mom, I was arrogant to think my daughter has her school stuff all together. Part of me just wanted to do what I wanted but another part of me was thinking “she can do it, she doesn’t need my help”. Man! I was wrong. Having confidence in your child is totally different from knowing when they need you to help them build that confidence. I honestly humbled myself and sat down with my daughter even if it met to stay up a little later.
During the hole time we were strategizing and working getting the math lab grade up, she was working on her work in class for World History class. She said, “I’ll be working on the World History work in class so I have more time at home for the math labs”. Except for studying. She set aside 20 minutes for that.
WHAT I REALIZE
Now her grade went from an “F” to a “B” in just a few weeks. Was not easy for her. I saw my daughter work very hard to get where she is now. There were days when she get frustrated and maybe whined a little.