Becoming a better mom while being a mom
Raising two wonderful totally different teenagers was not an easy task, when I look back from the day each one of my children were born, I realized now, who they were, and I think I knew it then too. Some people would say you start to get to know your child from the day they’re born, but I think I can say that God shows you who your child is on the day he or she is conceived in the womb. I could not have been the mother I am now without God in my life.
You see God literally showed me who my children were early on. I didn’t know at the time but as I think back, I remember the vision I’ve seen. I said to myself, “wow God was really showing me who my child is not only the sex of the child but who he is.
There is no manual book in this world about how to raise a child. Although there are tips and tricks about certain things but to raise a child from the cradle to the door. I say you would have to have God in your life because God is the only being who knows everything in your life. As a matter of fact, God knows the number of hair you have on your head. To me, that says a lot. I totally love and feel very special that know one else knows the number but only God. No buddy! No one else in this world who knows exactly how many strains of hair I have.
As far as my memory could take me, I remember the day after my son came into this world. After all the commotion about my new born baby and after everybody left to go home, I learned he liked things to come a bit easy for him. I learned this as I was breastfeeding my son. He didn’t want to work hard to get the milk but instead he wanted the bottle which was a bit easier for him.
My baby boy started with a bottle because he was flown out to another hospital in another city to get better care for his condition. With his father and grandfather at his side, our son drank milk from a bottle. I was totally not cool with that but I couldn’t do anything, I was not there with them.
When we were reunited, I tried breastfeeding my son but he wasn’t having it, he wanted “the easier way”, the bottle. Maybe in some people’s opinion, I’m wrong but that was the impression that I had received. Like I said, back then I didn’t know that God was simply showing me about my son until later on as he was growing up. I finally began to take notice.
Take notice of what God is showing you about your child
As the months past, I’ve played, rocked, cradled, slept, and watched my new first born son, he did want things to come easy but there are some things he had to work just a bit harder for.
As a baby; he wanted easy flowing milk bottles. As a toddler: he wanted toys that were easier to play. Just little things like that, my son wanted it plain and simple. Not that its a big deal or anything, I’m just saying; know your child.
As a teenager, in school he didn’t like Math at all. Not loving Math was what got him struggling in class. Least that’s my opinion. I felt like he simply didn’t like working on math because it takes some work of the brain to do math work. Hmm! or maybe it’s because he didn’t have the patience.
I’ll let you know that my son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old. Raising a child with ADHD is not so hard, unless you as a parent let it be hard. Raising a child diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder doesn’t mean it’s a disorder, it’s just means that the child needs help paying attention a little longer.
But this doesn’t really change what God has already told me about my son. ADHD is something a human being whipped up and gave it a name. I believe its all on the parents, how they teach their child. I learned that I didn’t have to treat my son different or punish him differently, I just needed to be up front and center at all times about what he needed to do to get to where he needed to be. That’s all academically, spiritually, physically, and mentally.
What to do with an ADHD child
By now, you probably thinking, “wow! this lady thinks she knows it all”. Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t a saint. I’ll be honest I was not the kind of mother that you think I am back then. When my son struggled in math early on, I would say he was about maybe 2nd or 3rd grade. I didn’t have the kind of patience I have now back then. Patience just was not in me. But I really didn’t want my son to fail school either. So, I needed to do something about me, first.
What was I going to do?
The only thing I knew to do was to get down on my knees and pray, ask the lord to help me. God showed me what love means by helping me help my son. I guess in a way I was a little bit selfish. I wanted time for myself to do my own thing, what I wanted in my house of course, not out there in the world doing crazy things. No, I just wanted to do what I wanted to do.
God changed all of that. He delivered me from that frame of mind to a new way of thinking. This was very new to me. I was becoming a mom even though I am already a mom.
Overcoming math struggles
Over the years as my son was growing up, He did face some challenges that caused him to work harder than normal. And I thank God that I have acquired some patience to be next to my son and to help him work on his school work. Math was one of the hardest subjects. He hated math big time. I sat with my son daily to get through his homework. When he worked on homework, he worked slow but was getting down the material he worked on, even though it took him hours to finish.
I’m sharing this part of my life for moms out there who maybe raising a child who was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I am sharing a story that tells a little bit about me and a little bit about my son. First learn to be patient and exercise your love, just like the way God has been patient for you and loves you.
More from God
God told me that my kids are not me. You see, when I was growing up in school I face some challenges, but I felt like I did good on my own. Didn’t need too much help from my parents, especially on homework. But for my son math was harder for him and I guess I thought my children ought to be the same.
Now that I look back at the way my thoughts were. I can say I was in denial and blinded myself from the truth. I thank God for showing me myself because I’m set free and have the mind set to be all I can be for my son and daughter.
In case you’re the mom with an ADHD child, I am here to say that your child will make it just like all the other kids in this world. He will work harder than most but he or she will get there to.
Today, my son holds a job and is taking classes at a College nearby. I’m grateful to God about what he had done for my son.